Jediz and Jinxes: The Clone Wolves
by ImperialJedi
Summary: Based off of the Jediz and Jinxes fanfilm mini-series. Obi-wan Kenobi and Harry Potter share an apartment. Destruction ensues. SWHP crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**Jediz and Jinxes: The Clone Wolves**

by _ImperialJedi_

**Disclaimer:** Being as this is a fanfic based off of a fanfilm mini-series, I completely acknowledge I do not hold intellectual property rights for Star Wars or Harry Potter. I am also not making any monetary profit from this story.

**AN:** This fic is based off of the "Jediz and Jinxes" mini-series by the Hawks Brothers. You can see the episodes at www(dot)jedizandjinxes(dot)net.

* * *

Obi-wan Kenobi woke up at the sound of a loud crash coming from his living room. He sat up and used the Force to summon his lightsaber. Another crash sounded beyond his bedroom door and the Jedi leapt to his feet. His room was dark, but some light filtered through the blinds from the streetlights outside. He cautiously pushed open the bedroom door. His lightsaber was raised and ready to attack.

As soon as Obi-wan looked into the lit living room he lowered his weapon. "What the blazes do you think you're doing?" He looked at his roommate who was standing amidst the destruction of not only the living room, but also the dining room table.

Harry Potter picked himself up off of the wreckage that was formerly their dining room table still gripping his Holly wand. "Oww…" Harry groaned as he tried to untangle his robe from the pile of wood.

"You can't do magic out of school," Jedi Master Kenobi admonished. "You'll be expelled." He tried to clip his lightsaber to his belt, but after two failed attempts he realized that he was still in his pajamas.

"I wasn't doing magic," Harry rebuked. "I was playing on the Xbox and suddenly there was a CG character," he waved his hands fruitlessly in the direction of the broken green couch, "There."

"A CG character," Obi-wan pondered while absently stroking his beard in thought. "Well, if you must have your friends over, Potter, try not to make as much noise, or cause as much destruction." Obi-wan moved to return to his room. "Oh, and if it's Jar Jar, _I'm not here_."

"They're not my friends," Harry shouted at his roommate. The Jedi ignored him and shut the door on the seething wizard. Harry sighed and began the hopeless task of trying to fix up the living room.

* * *

Two days later Obi-wan sat on the carpeted floor scrolling through a datapad. When he wasn't on missions for the Jedi Order, he was in charge of marketing. Usually he did this work at the table, but seeing as the table was now demolished… Well, the couch would be the next option, but it was still cracked in two and shredded. So, now he was sitting on the floor, annoyed, but not incapacitated.

The doorbell rang. The Jedi made one last notation on the datapad and then set it aside. He stood up gracefully and checked that his Jedi robes and beard were straightened. Then he unhurriedly walked past the kitchen to the door. The doorbell rang again and Obi-wan opened it a breath of a moment later.

The man wasn't anyone the Jedi recognized. "Hello," Obi-wan said and quirked an eyebrow at the stranger. He had brown hair that was graying and intelligent eyes, but his robes were worn down and shabby. The man looked like he was battling a great disease and that battle wasn't going in his favor.

"Good afternoon," the man answered sounding a bit nervous by the slight waver in his voice. "Is Harry Potter here?"

"You're not a friend of Voldemort's, are you?" Obi-wan asked. Although Voldemort had been a kind guest, he refused to remove his shoes before walking on the carpet, had tried to kill his roommate, and worse of all, the Dark Lord had eaten all of the crumpets. Later Obi-wan and Potter had mutually agreed not to let that sort to enter their apartment again, although exceptions could be made when they hosted Halo tournaments.

The man blinked in surprise. "No, I'm Remus Lupin," he said. "I use to be a Professor of Harry's. He asked me to come when I could. Something about fixing some furniture."

"Oh," the Jedi said. "Alright, come on in. Be sure to take off your shoes." Obi-wan walked ahead and checked the bedrooms for Harry in case he had returned without the Jedi noticing.

Remus removed his worn shoes before stepping onto the carpet. He took a few steps and stopped in shock at the destruction. The TV had been smashed in, the Xbox and controllers were in a huge tangle, the loveseat and couch's supports were broken and the fabric was torn, and the table and chairs in the dining room made a nice, large pile of kindling.

"Potter is not here right now." Obi-wan said returning. "He should be back soon. I'd offer you a seat, but as you can see we don't have any right now. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Yes, that would be fine." Remus said absently. He was already thinking of the best way to repair the catastrophe.

The Jedi Master summoned a clean plastic cup from the counter and opened the fridge. "What would you like?"

"Anything will be fine," the ex-Professor answered pulling out a battered wand. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to get started right away."

"Yes, that would be great." Obi-wan poured some blue milk for Remus and then a cup for himself. The wizard was waving his wand all over and by the time the Jedi walked from the kitchen to the dining room, the distance of about two meters, everything had been put back to rights by the silent and liberal casting of _Reparo_. Obi-wan set the drinks on the table.

"Blast," he exclaimed. They sat down. The table looked like nothing had happened to it at all. "That was amazing. If only Potter could be half as useful. He must have been downright depressing to have in class."

"No," Remus said. He looked thoughtful as he sipped at his blue milk. "I taught Defense Against the Dark Arts and he was quite a pleasure." The quiet man looked up at his host, but quickly looked away while attempting to quell the smile forming on his face. The Jedi Master had a blue milk mustache fighting for dominance with his real mustache.

Harry struggled to open the door to his and Obi-wan's apartment. He strode through scowling and looking at the floor. He paused long enough to remove his shoes before Obi-wan could call him on it.

Remus stood up and smiled. "Hi Harry."

Harry's head snapped up. "Moony," he shouted and ran over excitedly. "Hey, you've fixed the furniture. Thank you very much. I'd do it myself, but with the Restriction of Underage Wizardry and all…"

"I understand Harry. It wasn't a problem at all."

At this point Obi-wan was getting rather bored with the reunion and decided to relocate to the couch to play on the Xbox. The first three consecutive games he lost spectacularly. He blamed it on being distracted. The Force was telling him something wasn't right about that Lupin guy.

Obi-wan started up a new game and pounded on the controller.

"He appeared right over here," Harry explained to Remus. "At first I thought he was a house elf-" He stepped in front of the TV.

"Potter, get out of the way."

"Obi-wan, I have a guest. He wanted to know how our living room was destroyed."

Obi-wan gave Potter a Force Push to the side. "Hey!" the wizard yelled. "What the bloody 'ell was that for?"

The game ended and the Jedi tossed the controller to the side defeated. "I lost." Obi-wan snapped, "It's your fault, Potter."

Harry took a deep breath to calm down. He turned and walked Remus to the door. "I'm sorry Moony. He's being a prat right now. Why don't we go to Hogsmeade?"

"Are you calling me a hog again?" Obi-wan shouted from the couch.

"No, we're going to HogsMEADE, it's a _town_," Harry griped back. He and Professor Lupin put on their shoes. Remus stepped outside first and Harry followed slamming the door behind him. He barely managed to keep his cloak from getting caught in the door on his way out.

"And I thought Anakin was going to be the death of me," Obi-wan muttered.

* * *

Posted: July 26, 2008

* * *


	2. The Argument

**Jediz and Jinxes: The Clone Wolves**

by _ImperialJedi_

**Disclaimer:** Being as this is a fanfic based off of a fanfilm mini-series, I completely acknowledge I do not hold intellectual property rights for Star Wars or Harry Potter. I am also not making any monetary profit from this story.

**AN:** This fic is based off of the "Jediz and Jinxes" mini-series by the Hawks Brothers. You can see the episodes at www(dot)jedizandjinxes(dot)net

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Argument**

"So, you ever figure out which CGI character destroyed our apartment?" Obi-wan asked. The Jedi entered the living room donning clone trooper armor clanking on his chest and shoulders. The faint odor of blaster discharge followed his movements.

"Why do you always exaggerate?" said Harry over his shoulder. "It was only our living room." The young wizard hunched back over his History of Magic essay.

"And the table," Obi-wan said pointedly.

Harry tightened his grip on his quill. "Well, Professor Lupin fixed it, didn't he?"

"Yes, about him." Obi-wan crossed his arms in a Jedi-like pose. "Isn't there something a bit odd about that Lupin fellow?" He idly stroked his beard giving the wizard who had saved their living space some consideration.

"No. Don't you have something to do, like save the galaxy or something?"

"Anakin and I are meeting with Senator Amidala later tonight." Obi-wan started to unstrap the clone trooper armor. "I want to be sure that the apartment will be in one piece when I get back." He hefted the shoulder and chest pieces and placed them haphazardly in the closet. Brushing the brown dust off of his brown robes, Obi-wan closed the closet and turned back to the table where Harry sat.

"Of course it will be." Harry said. He moved his arm in agitation and smeared black ink all over his parchment and blue muggle shirt. "Bloody hell. This was my best non-Dudley sized shirt." Harry scowled. "I was almost finished with my essay, too. Three feet on the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, ruined!"

"Well," Obi-wan interrupted his roommate's angry muttering. "I would believe it if you would be more specific with the CGI's description." The Jedi took a step forward. "I'm beginning to think you made it up."

"All I know was that it was CG," Harry snapped. "I didn't get a good look at it. It could have been anything."

"No," came the forceful reply. "There are only so many computer generated characters out there. All of which have very distinct features."

"You're wrong, Kenobi." Harry dropped his quill and stood up waving his arms up and down. "CG characters are everywhere!" Harry peered suspiciously at Obi-wan and leaned in closer. His green eyes widened. "Wait a second. You're a CG character!"

"What? Am not!" Obi-wan shouted, his voice an octave higher than normal. He twitched his hand outward and Force-pushed Harry back a few feet.

"Are too!" The wizard returned. "Look at yourself! You're more stylized than normal, your features are smoother, and if you look closely you can make out some pixelization."

"What?" Obi-wan repeated. "When did this happen? How did I not notice?" He looked down at his computer generated body and hands. Then he tried to twist around both ways to examine his back as well.

Harry took the opportunity to turn the accusation back onto the accuser. "It could have been you!" He pointed with his index finger of Doom. "You destroyed our living room!"

Obi-wan swatted at the accusing finger. "Absolutely not, Potter!"

Harry's hand was batted away, and the Boy-Who-Lived let out an abbreviated shriek. "Don't touch me. You might be contagious!"

"I'm not contagious!" General Kenobi countered.

"How do you bloody well know? You didn't even notice when you changed."

Obi-wan shrugged. "It's The Clone Wars. I'll be back to normal in time for Episode Three."

"Oh…" Harry sat back down at the table. "Well, I still think you're as likely suspect into our living room's destruction as anyone."

"I didn't see any lightsaber burns, did you? No? Looked more like the work of a Reducto to me. Have a confession for me do you, Potter?

"You're a bloody prat Kenobi!"

"And you're kriffing imbecile."

* * *

Later that week, Harry Potter ran up to his apartment door with a roll of parchment in his hand and his school bag over his shoulder. He unlocked the apartment door and darted inside, turning the deadbolt once the door was closed.

In the kitchen, Obi-wan was digging in the fridge. A moment later the Jedi pulled out a dozen cans of Red Bull and set them gently into the open luggage on the countertop. "Oh, hello there, Potter. How was school?"

Harry shrugged off his out Hogwarts robe and tossed it on the couch. "Check out what I got." Harry unrolled the parchment and held it up.

Obi-wan pulled out his glasses and read, "'Wanted: Sirius Black.' Cool. You can put that on the fridge or wall or something." The Jedi closed his hard-cased luggage with a snap and set it beside the door.

"Kenobi," ventured Harry. "Er… I'm sorry about saying you destroyed the living room. I know it's not your fault for being CG. It must be difficult not feeling… real."

"No, it's alright Potter. I'm the older one, I should have been more responsible and receptive to your concerns." The Jedi double-checked that he had his lightsaber and his keys. "I think we just need some time apart. The Jedi Council has asked that I join Anakin on another mission."

"You're leaving?" Harry brightened at the thought of having the apartment all to himself. "For how long?"

"A week, two at most." Kenobi pulled on his brown robe. "Will you be alright here on your own?"

"I'll be fine." Harry assured him. "Maybe I'll go visit Snuffles and Moony."

Obi-wan hefted his suitcase and gave Potter a pained look; it might have been a smidgen of concern. Maybe not. "Alright then, give me a holocomm call if you are in a life-threatening situation." He studied their LOLcats-themed Calendar for a moment. "It doesn't appear that you're scheduled for another one until the next full moon."

"Great, isn't it?" Harry unbolted the door and held it opened eagerly. "Have a good trip, Obi-wan."

Obi-wan gave the plain apartment one last look. "I'll give you a call when I'm coming back. Goodbye." Then the Jedi was gone and Harry closed the door again.

* * *

_Posted: August 21, 2008_


End file.
